Oh bother, it feels like just yesterday we were knee deep in Halloween Horror, and now we are a mere week away from Christmas. For most of us horror-heads, we can only enjoy the one true holiday, Halloween, but I have a confession to make. I like Christmas, more specifically I like this time of year. The weather is finally cold enough to enjoy, and people buy me things! Where do you all lie on this season, grave toppers and tombstones?
On that topic, I decided that just like I did for Thanksgiving, I’ll present you with a Christmas horror movie to celebrate this time of year.
“Jack Frost” (1997)
Director: Michael Cooney
Stars: Scott MacDonald, Christopher Allport, and Stephen Mendel
First and foremost, let me make it clear this is not a review of the family comedy of the same name released a year later starring Michael Keaton. This is a horror movie about a serial killer who dies and comes back as a murderous snowman. You’ll be forgiven if you think Michael Keaton was a part of this, because I think he would have killed as this Jack Frost (pun intended).
Don’t ask me why, but I really enjoy bad movies. Now, we’ve already discussed that there’s a difference between bad movies that are supposed to be bad and bad movies where everyone in the creative process fails. Intentionally bad movies are often great, accidental bad movies are a waste of two hours of our lives.
Jack Frost, by premise alone, is an intentional crappy movie that succeeds in few areas, but fails everywhere it should. (Perhaps this means it succeeds? Who knows? That’s a deeper thought level than I’m willing to provide for a movie about a killer Snowman)
Yes remember, this is a movie about a blood thirsty snowman. Serial killer Jack Frost becomes a snowman. Who cares how, or even why? None of that is relevant to the quality of the movie. With this as a premise you can imagine how the movie develops, or doesn’t. A young Shannon Elizabeth partakes in one of the best murder scenes I’ve been witness to. Just look at this.
That’s right, Shannon Elizabeth was fucked to death by Frosty the Snowman.
Not much else to say about this movie, so on to the rating…
As far as crappy movies go, this is one of the better ones. With it’s ridiculous plot and horrible acting, Jack Frost is the kind of bad movie you can enjoy… if you like that kind of thing.
I know I said that how Jack Frost becomes a serial killer snowman isn’t important, but it was an entertaining scene. As the serial killer was being transferred to the facility where he was to be executed, the transport vehicle collided with a tanker because of the crappy weather conditions. The ‘genetic materials’ in the tanker spill out onto Frost, melting him, and presumably killing him. His remains fuse with the snow, and Jack Frost: The Snowman was born.
From there he terrorizes the town where he was initially arrested and has his sights set on his arresting officer. When the body count continues to rise, the FBI is brought in to investigate, and things continue from there as one would expect.
Cinéma vérité this ain’t, but it’s a fun, wintery romp that’s perfect for this time of year.
For more from Alex Azar head over to azarrising.com