Down, Set, HIGHk!

HI FREAKIN PEOPLE! Welcome to the 9,823,478,024th edition of Hibbidy Dibbidy Yada Yada Sports Blah Yee ha! How is everyone? What’s that? You’re sore from a huge workout or hike or maybe you were beaten to a bloody pulp in the octagon? Well we might just have the thing for you!!! See, I live in California. I was raised in Southern California, then moved to Colorado for a bit, then a 2.5 year stint on the Washington/Idaho border, and now back in California…this time on the Central Coast. As you’re probably well aware, we recently just had an enormous election. Aside from the country electing orangeface smallhands assface to the Oval Office, each state had several propositions that could majorly impact laws or regulations or palatial regalia. Here in California, one of the biggest ones was one that failed in the past but finally got the GREEN light…yes, I’m talking about Nintendo 64.

Errr Proposition 64, the legalization of recreational marijuana. I’d also like to point out that while I was living in Colorado, weed was legalized there, and later while I in Washington, they legalized it as well, and now California…so basically anywhere I move, marijuana is legalized. I’m now taking bids for the next state…jk…unless the price is right. Now personally, I don’t smoke the greenery…you know, I gotta be all professional and amazing, but I have in the past and shared a lot of laughs and pain-free nights with friends! I say “pain-free” to Segway to the main topic…medical marijuana in professional sports. 

Segway…Segway…Segway…

If you’re a professional athlete, which obviously you are if you’re reading this article, then chances are you’ve been injured at some point in your sporting career. Naturally your main courses of action for serious injuries are physical therapy or rehabilitation, and a lot of time and rest. HOWEVER IN CAPS, what about the PAIN that comes with injuries? For the longest time, outside of the doctor’s or trainer’s office, the options were pain pills or NOTHING!!! Vicodin or OUCH I’M DYING! OxyContin or OMG I THINK MY LEG IS FALLING OFF!!! This became a problem because of addiction. I have watched many documentaries of former NFL players who became addicted to pain pills and it ultimately destroyed their insides. These guys were taking so many that the effects started becoming less and less powerful, which lead to more and more usage. I remember one guy saying that he was usually so beat up that he would throw down an entire HANDFUL of Vicodin before a game just to get through it. DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER’S HANDS ARE?! That’s gotta be anywhere between 15 and 9,587 pills in one dose!!! EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY!

The problem is to this day, is that hasn’t DRASTICALLY changed. However, several athletes have come forward and expressed their desire to allow medical marijuana into the rehabilitation cycle, for those that want an alternative. Of course at first, the NFL scoffed at the idea. “Surely you jest,” I assume they said. After all, marijuana is a class one drug according to the government. It’s basically the same as HEROIN #obvi. Idiots…

So a few players started smoking reefer to alleviate pain, and were quickly suspended for using a banned substance. I’m not sure if they called it a performance enhancing drug, but if you have ever smoked ganja, the only performance that might be enhanced is your ability to play Madden on Xbox. So the NFL for a long time ignored the fact that medical marijuana was becoming more and more popular in many states, and was even becoming recreationally legal in a few. Say Peyton Manning of the Denver Broncos wanted to light up a J when weed became legal in Colorado…not so fast Peyton. Just because you legally can smoke that sticky icky doesn’t mean your employer will let you! NFL players began getting quietly outraged. They play one of the most physically brutal sports on the planet where they are beaten up during every game, and are then told that the only thing they can do to help the pain is take a pill that may temporarily stop it, but could cause permanent liver damage or heart damage or everything internal damage with enough use. PILLS OR SUFFER…the NFL seemed to say. 

BUT NOW, it seems like the times are slowly starting to catch up the the good ol’ NFL…last month, a survey was put out featuring 226 current players about marijuana. 71% of them said they believe marijuana should be legal in all states, 62% say that beating a marijuana test isn’t hard to do (which means a lot are most likely already doing it), 41% said that marijuana was better at controlling chronic pain compared to 32% that said painkillers, and lastly…62% said that if marijuana was allowed in the NFL, far fewer players would ever feel the need to take painkillers. That’s fantastic. So now, research is being done using real-life players and the positive effects marijuana has on them for treating injuries. The NFL AMAZINGLY ISN’T trying to shut that study down! They just want to know the results! I don’t believe it! So before our own eyes, we might be seeing a new era in pain treatment while saving the internal organs. Allowing medical marijuana into professional sports, especially the NFL, could lead to less pill-dependency, fewer chronic brain injuries, and much more entertaining post-game press conferences! It’s time to give the NFL a new meaning…the Natural Fantastic Leaf! 

How do YOU feel about marijuana in sports? Let me know on TWITTER?!?!?! @souporsizemore

Until next time, keep it cool, friends!!!

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