WILW: Wrestlemania 32 Predictions

It’s that time of year again. Storylines are coming to a close, feuds are blowing off, and the possibilities of a fresh start are palpable. It is time for WWE’s biggest show of the year, Wrestlemania. This year the show comes to us from Dallas, TX in Cowboys Stadium. It should be the largest crowd for anything ever in a state where, according to the locals, everything is bigger. The card is solid if a bit underwhelming on the surface. Some questionable choices have to led to a few matches that don’t exactly blow my skirt up. This Wrestlemania will forever be the one marked by injury. The list of injured stars is as long as it is diverse. So many big names will not be on the show. Names like John Cena, Seth Rollins, Cesaro, Sting, Nikki Bella, just to name a few. Who will win what is left? Read on readers…

Pre-Show:

Kalisto (C) vs Ryback
Kalisto (C) vs Ryback

I am of two minds on this match. One, why spend significant time building up a feud between these two on RAW and Smackdown only to move the match to 5:30 eastern as a network exclusive ensuring that a ton of people are going to miss it? Two, I hate Ryback so I don’t have to suffer through him. This match should be on the main card. It’s for a major title currently held by a young superstar. Even with the inclusion of Ryback, it deserves that spot. Alas, its time slot shows you how much WWE cares about the belt. The match will not be good because Ryback. Prediction – Kalisto

Team Total Divas vs Team Bad and Blonde
Team Total Divas vs Team Bad and Blonde

I feel dumber having typed out the name of both teams. Here we have a group of women who, while not all of them are world beaters in terms of wrestling ability, deserve better than this. This is the definition of throw away match. There are no lasting implications to this match. Nothing that happens matters. Paige deserves better. Emma deserves better. Hell, Brie and Natalya deserve better. But no, this is what we get. Plus Eva Marie who will continue to be shoved down our throats because she is pretty. Prediction – who gives a shit

The Usos vs The Dudley Boyz
The Usos vs The Dudley Boyz

Oh the Usos. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. This year they again are doing pre show duty this time taking on the Dudley Boyz. For a team that gets such a push, they never seem to get that big spot. And rightly so quite honestly. For as over as they seem to be with kids, they just aren’t very good. The Dudley Boyz on the other hand are tag team royalty. They should be on the main show going for the belts. Instead, they have to try and make the Usos look good as I’m sure they will be doing the job. At Wrestlemania, the faces win. The match should be decent. The Dudleys could make a blow up doll look good in a match. They won’t get the win though. Prediction – The Usos

Main Show

The New Day vs The League of Nations
The New Day vs The League of Nations

This match was originally for the belts but was instead changed to a 3 on 4 handicapped match for some reason. Don’t get me wrong, I love these seven together but it’s Mania, the belts should be on the line. I digress, this match should be a blast. New Day continues to be the most entertaining thing week in and week out and personally, I love the League of Nations. they are douchebag nationalist heels. It’s old school cheese and I dig it. I expect a pretty great match as the show opener, listed that way as of this writing anyway, that gets the crowd hyped for the next 3+ hours. Prediction – The New Day

Everyone else I haven't typed anywhere else...
Everyone else I haven’t typed anywhere else…

Man, do I love a good battle royal. The ARMBAR has been a highlight of the last few Mania’s for me personally though not everyone else has loved it. This year, I’m expecting someone like Bray Wyatt to get the win. Or maybe a surprise entrant. Who the hell knows? As long as it isn’t Big Show or Kane. Prediction – Anyone but Big Show, or Kane quite frankly

AJ Styles vs Chris Jericho
AJ Styles vs Chris Jericho

AJ Styles makes his Mania debut against Y2J. That is so fucking dope. AJ should have been in WWE years ago. The guy is simply amazing. This program he has been working with Jericho has yielded some damn good matches and this one should be no exception. The two of them work so well together now. They know exactly when to pop the big spots and when to slow it down. I’m hyped on this match and fully expect it to be the best match at Mania. And being Mania, storyline wise it makes sense for AJ to go over and move into the Intercontinental title scene.Prediction – AJ Styles

Zack Ryder, Stardust, Dolph Ziggler, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Stardust, The Miz
Zack Ryder, Stardust, Dolph Ziggler, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Stardust, The Miz

See, this right here, this is what I was talking about in the intro. Why? Why is there an 8-man for the IC belt again? Why is it a ladder match again? Why is this not Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn? Why the hell is Zack Ryder involved? It just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Kevin Owens has spent the last few months talking about how Sunday is going to be KO-Mania and this is what they book. It’s incomprehensible. And stupid, so very stupid. Anywho, this match will be an 8-man clusterfuck with Dolph Ziggler taking way too many big bumps to try and get over. In the end, Owens needs to keep the belt and move on to some singles feuds. There are so many good stories that could be built around the IC belt. Owens, Zayn, Styles three way dance at Summer Slam? Heck and yes. Prediction – Owens

Sasha Banks vs Charlotte (C) vs Becky Lynch
Sasha Banks vs Charlotte (C) vs Becky Lynch

It has been a long time coming but the Women’s division is finally in a good place in WWE. And when I say Women’s division, these three are what I mean. The Divas bullshit happens on the preshow. And with the rumors flying that a well know female wrestler from the past, please be Lita, will be retiring the Divas belt and presenting the winner of this match with the new Women’s belt, well, I for one am pretty stoked. This match should be fantastic given the history these ladies have together and on NXT. There will be plenty of near falls and definitely some interference from Ric but in the end, there can be only one BOSS. Prediction – Sasha Banks

Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar
Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar

As excited as I am for this match, I’m not entirely sure why it is happening. Storyline wise it made way more sense for Brock to be taking on Bray Wyatt and Ambrose to be in the title match. But, WWE doesn’t always make sense. The match we are getting Sunday between these two is a street fight. No rules, no holds barred. There will be blood for sure on Sunday. From both guys. A lot of it. I am fully expecting one of these two to die on Sunday. (not really but maybe) The only reason this is a street fight in my mind is so that Dean can win. In a regular match it just wouldn’t be believable. Here, maybe. Prediction – Ambrose

Triple H (C) vs Roman Reigns
Triple H (C) vs Roman Reigns

Any other year I would simply right Roman Reigns BOO and move on but I cannot do that this year. Not because he isn’t walking out champ, he most certainly is, but because of how he might be walking out champ. There is no question the Roman as a face experiment has failed big time. This guy gets booed out of the building in the mildest of smarky crowds and going over Trips on Sunday clean will not help matters. WWE cannot continue to book him as a face when he gets booed so ferociously. Triple H is going to get a huge pop no matter how hard he tries not to. It goes to show how fucked the main event scene is and how poorly it has been booked since Seth got hurt. So, a double turn then? Maybe. I honestly have no idea how the hell they are going to pull this off. The match itself will be fine. Trips is still amazing in the ring and Roman can no doubt go. The ending though.. no idea. Prediction – Roman Reigns

Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker - Hell in a Cell
Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker – Hell in a Cell

So, who saw this coming? Shane-o-Mac made his triumphant return to RAW and immediately got put into a match with Taker at Mania inside Hell in a Cell. For control of RAW ergo WWE. That, as they say, escalated quickly. Shane is in phenomenal shape, abs for days. Taker is also looking quite well right now. Shane will damn near kill himself in the ring. Taker might just let him. The big question here is how can Shane win and not have it look fake. In no world does Shane beat Taker clean at Mania. There has to be some help. And my hope is that it is Finn Balor and Balor Club coming in and costing Taker the match. It would do so much right. First, Shane would get the win and storyline control of RAW. Second, it would give an asterisk to the second loss on Takers Wrestlemania record. Third, it would introduce Finn Balor and Balor Club to the main roster AND keep them face or at least tweener. Fourth, it would start a program between Balor and Taker that could run until Summer Slam and goddamn do I want to see that match. Fifth, it would be different. Not that we haven’t had screwjob endings in the past but that this would change so much while still keeping everyone going in the right direction. Taker could be pissed at Vince for putting him in that position and be looking for revenge. Shane could bring about the changes he has hinted at (brand split please), the Authority could take a break. Sixth, it just makes sense. Shane has to win and stay face. He has to. Otherwise, it’s more of the same. Maybe there is another way. If there is, I cannot wait to see it. Prediction – Shane

And there it is. Was I right? Wrong? Somewhere in the middle? Follow me on twitter and instagram, @geekadedan, and let me know what you think. Until we meet again…

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