Ask The Geeks: How Would You Stop a Killer? What’s Your Weapon of Choice?

For Geekade’s annual 31 Days of Halloween, we’ve turned to some familiar voices from around the website to answer a series of spooktacular questions, ranging from the mundane to a tad bit ludicrous in our new series, “Ask The Geeks.”

In our latest installment, we ask the team…

You’re being chased by a killer. What do you do to stop them? What’s your weapon of choice?

Brenda Cierech (Tardy to the Party, 31 Days of Horror): If I was being chased by a killer, I’d probably hide in a decrepit, old, boarded-up house. Or an abandoned summer camp, if there was one nearby. Then again, maybe I’d hole up in the creepy basement of an abandoned school. That is, unless I came across a spooky ghost ship slowly emerging out of the fog. In any case, I’d definitely trip several times on absolutely nothing as I ran towards the nearest of those options, continuously screaming for help to ensure the killer knew my location at all times. Once I was safely hidden, I’d needlessly investigate any and all suspicious noises, crying out, “Who’s there?” as loudly as possible each and every time. Ha… I’m just joking. I’d grab me a flamethrower and burn that mofo to a crisp. How’d ya like me now, tough guy?

Dean DeFalco (Vest Lord, General Administrator): Twelve gauge shot gun. If the bullets don’t kill them, they’re going to at least get blown back a couple feet.

Kris Randazzo (Stone Age Gamer, This Week’s Episode, Waveback):  I’ve always been a firm believer in the concept of out-crazying the other guy. So I would find a beer bottle, smash it over my own head, and threaten to defend myself with the broken bottle as my weapon. If the killer doesn’t back off at that point out of sheer respect for my own insanity, he deserves to kill me.

Dave Marconi (You Shall Not Pass Go) If I had a weapon at my beck and call while being chased by a killer, I’d probably choose a rocket launcher. I do not want to get close, I do not want to miss, I want to see pieces of what used to be the killer flying in all directions from the fireball that I just unleashed upon them.
Gabbie Robbins (The Think Tank, Gabbie Re-Reads)My best shot is a Scooby-Doo or Bugs Bunny level deception, honestly. Like painting a door on a wall and then dropping through a trap door beneath the rug so when the killer enters behind me he or she thinks I went through the door but then can’t get it open. If I must fight, it’ll end up having to be something close-range or melee style as I’m uncomfortable with guns. I’m guessing garden shears? A kitchen knife? Or a replica Batarang.

Amy Ebeling

Editor-in-Chief, failed vegetarian, and collector of terrible tattoos.

Amy Ebeling

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