Geekade Top Ten: Ryan Reynolds Movies You Might Not Know, Plus BONUS ABS!
Well, it’s February, and that means Valentine’s Day is upon us! This is a month that should be filled with love and desire, and if you know me at all, that translates to Ryan Reynolds movies. On February 12th the long-awaited Deadpool is finally hitting theaters, so I thought I would take this opportunity to let you in on some of my favorite Ryan Reynolds flicks that you may not know about. We are all familiar with the VanWilder, Blade Trinity, Wolverine Origins and Green Lantern portions of his career, but did you know that in his first movie he played a Frankenstein’s Monster-like character? That’s right, in 2000 Ryan starred in Boltneck: Big Monster on Campus, as an experiment gone wrong. And that’s just the tip of the ice Berg! See what I did there? No? You see, Ryan played a character named Berg on a TV show called Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place which later became just Two Guys and a Girl… which also starred Nathan Fillion, and… that’s an article for another time. You’re here for movies, so read on and get your Ryan on .
10. Definitely Maybe (2008)
This is a quirky romantic comedy that shows the relationship between a man and his young daughter, as he tells her about his love life and how she came to be. Ryan plays William, who spends the entire movie choosing between April (Isla Fisher), Emily (Elizabeth Banks) and Summer (Rachel Weisz). It’s sometimes awkward, sometime tender, but always heartwarming.
Fun Fact: Kevin Kline as Professor Hampton Roth is a baller.
9. Amityville Horror (2005)
Can Ryan play crazy? Oh yes he can, and this remake surely proves it. Ryan plays George, the fun-loving husband and stepfather to 3 children. Let’s be honest, that alone could drive any man crazy, but add into the mix a creepy preacher ghost, a little girl ghost, some tortured Native Americans, and house that just wants him to “KATCH ’EM & KILL ’EM,” and you have a recipe for FUN.
Fun Fact: I saw this movie in theaters, and when the scene where Ryan lifts himself out of the water came on, every person in the room audibly swooned.
8. Smoking Aces (2006)
This one snuck up on me. When you take one part Mob Boss, one part Vegas magician, and two parts FBI, and add five parts contract killers, shake, stir and set on fire, you get Smoking Aces! Ryan plays an FBI agent who is kept in the dark about the truth for just about the entire movie. But in the end, he pulls off the ultimate magic trick and makes a life disappear.
Fun Fact: Even though he is currently playing Batman, Ben Affleck couldn’t shoot pool if his life depended on it.
7. PaperMan (2009)
Before director Gavin Hood ever sewed Ryan’s mouth shut to play an antihero (Wolverine Origins’ Wade Wilson AKA Deadpool) he played a SUPERhero. In this film Ryan plays Captain Excellent who is the wise-cracking, always-on-the-lookout-for-danger, imaginary friend of Richard Dunne. Richard is a middle aged writer who is just trying to deal with life and come up with his next big idea.
Fun Fact: This is the movie that made me fall in love with Emma Stone.
6. Waiting (2005)
Have you ever worked at a restaurant? If so, this movie is for you. Have you ever eaten in a restaurant? If so, this movie is NOT for you. Waiting is a behind-the-scenes look at the wonderful world of the food service industry, and the disgusting Hell that it can be. Ryan plays Monty, who is tasked with training the new guy while Dean (Justin Long) tries to figure out what he is going to do with the rest of his life. These two best friends do everything in their power to make working at Shenanigan’s a Van Wilder-like romp.
Fun Fact: Thanks to this movie, I couldn’t look at picture messages on my phone or computer for at least 6 months out of fear of getting the GOAT.
5. Chaos Theory (2008)
In this story, Ryan plays Frank, a father of the bride who sits the almost-groom down to fully explain how and when he chose to embrace the chaos that is life. What follows is a journey through Frank’s history, where we are introduced to the notion that every choice we make is better left to fate or chance. Because life is so much easier when every decision you make is determined by what’s written on an index card picked at random.
Fun Fact: For about 2 weeks, I lived my life the same way Frank does in this movie. I went through a lot of index cards.
4. The Voices (2014)
How can I describe this movie in a clear and simple fashion? This is a story of Mr. Whiskers, who is an asshole of a cat that tries to convince his master not only to kill, but to kill AGAIN. Bosco, which is the other side of that coin, is a sweet and level-headed dog that seems to be the only sensible character in the whole movie. The humans involved are Lisa (Anna Kendrick), the girl who is destined to die, and Jerry (Ryan), the simpleton who is stuck in the middle of all this madness. Good times are had by all.
Fun Fact: I’m pretty sure that my cat Owen is the basis for the Mr. Whiskers character.
3. Buying the Cow (2002)
What happens when a girl tells her wary-of-commitment boyfriend that he has two months to decide weather or not they are going to get married? Well in most movies, that guy runs, tries to hook up with a bunch of random tail, and then realizes that the girl who gave the ultimatum was his one and only. Well that ain’t the case here! David (Jerry O’Connel) with some help from his besties Mike (Ryan) and Jonesy (Bill Bellamy), gets as much tail as he possibly can, and in the end I’m pretty sure he finds his soul mate, which isn’t the girl from the beginning of the move, thank God.
Fun Fact: I get this movie and Tomcats confused all the time.
2. School of Life (2005)
Okay, it’s time to get serious. This made-for-TV movie is one of the best examples of just how great an actor Ryan is. He plays a young teacher who moves into town and shakes things up, while teaching everyone a little something about themselves. Heartstrings will be pulled and eyes will be opened, because once you watch this movie, you will never forget Mr. D (Ryan), the teacher that taught you the most important lesion you will ever learn; how to be true to yourself.
1. The Nines (2007)
Ummmmm… I’ve seen this movie like 20 times and I still have no idea what the Hell is going on.
All I know is:
- It’s broken up into 3 segments.
- Ryan plays a different character in each one.
- All of the segments are connected in some way or another.
- The number nine is very important.
- I think Ryan may be…God?
I have no fucking idea, but I LOVE this movie!
There you go people, my top 10 Ryan Reynolds movies that you may not have known about. As an added bonus, I have included a quick top 5 of the “Best Ryan Reynolds Abs Shots” with time stamps included for easy access. ENJOY!
5. Buying the Cow – 57:28
4. The Proposal – 56:11
3. Waiting – 8:01
2. Blade Trinity – 1:35:20
1. The Amityville Horror – 26:15