My name is Kris, and I’m editor-in-chief for Geekade. A few months ago my wife Karen wrote the article Geekade Top Ten: Hottest Men In The Marvel Cinematic Universe. When she was done, she challenged me to write a Top Ten list of the hottest women in the MCU. Now, I’ve never really been the type of guy to stand around and talk about how attractive women are. Outside of my own head, the subject has always made me a bit uncomfortable. But, I accepted the challenge on the grounds that I do in fact love attractive women, and I like to challenge myself when it comes to writing. And writing an article like this is definitely outside of my comfort zone. But here we are, so let’s get to it. I applied the same rules as Karen did in her article, meaning that this isn’t just a beauty contest. Personality is most definitely a factor. Also, this list only applies to the MCU, so no FOX or Sony movies are involved. Finally, this is my list, and will clearly not align with everyone’s. Though I would argue that my #1 is irrefutable. Alright, let’s do this.
10. Pepper Potts – In all honesty, I’ve always liked Pepper as a character, but I have to say I never really found her super-attractive. Sure, Gwyneth Paltrow is a very beautiful woman, but something about Pepper never really said “hot” to me. Then Iron Man 3 happened. Between the bits where she was in the suit, and especially the scene pictured to the left where she was injected with Extremis and kicked all manner of ass, it was cinched. This woman is in very good shape. But like I said earlier, looks aren’t everything. Fortunately for Pepper, she’s a very capable CEO, incredibly brave, and witty enough to go toe to toe with Tony freaking Stark. This combination of looks and personality make her an absolute killer in my book. She may have a silly name, but Pepper is a winner to me.
9. Jessica Jones – I struggled with this one a bit. I wasn’t really sure whether to put Jessica in the #10 spot or not, but at the end of the day, Jessica won out over Pepper. Just as a human being, Jessica Jones is hot. The hair, the eyes, the body, the whole nine yards. The only thing that keeps her from being higher on my list is the fact that she’s ultra-damaged. Sure, deep down she wants to help people. She wants to do the right thing. And that’s fantastic. But she’s pretty broken inside. Not without good reason, mind you, but that’s a slight turn-off. Anyway, damage aside, when she’s in a good mood, Jessica seems like an awesome person to hang out with, and that’s attractive. She’s managed to keep her sense of humor through all the crap she’s been through, and she has super strength. Come on! Super strength! That’s hot.
8. Lady Sif – Just look at that picture. I feel like I don’t even need to say anything here. Lady Sif is stunning. She kicks ass. She has beautiful eyes. She’s fiercely loyal. She has an unbelievable body. She is an absolute knockout. She’s kind when she needs to be, and an incredible warrior when she doesn’t. She’s pretty smart, too. She’s come to Thor’s rescue on multiple occasions, and even helped out the agents of SHIELD a couple of times. Every part of the Thor movies that features her is made better by her presence. I suppose the fact that she’s technically not human is a bit of a turn-off. But when you look the way she does, does species really matter? Thor doesn’t think so, so I guess neither do I. Regardless, Sif is a ridiculously beautiful woman. Now go watch Blindspot.
7. Hope Van Dyne (aka The Wasp) – Hope earns her spot on this list primarily because she still manages to be hot while sporting that ridiculous haircut. In my opinion, Evangeline Lilly is stunning. But making her into a smart, strong-willed, athletic, ass-kicking scientist/aspiring super-hero is just sexy as hell. I used this picture in particular because I think the scene where she’s training Scott Lang features Hope at her most attractive. First off, those arms. Second, this is where we start to see past her negative attitude and see her softer side. She’s actually a caring person underneath all that anger towards her dad. And I know this might be a little weird, but I really like this woman’s voice. Something about the way she says “That’s how you punch” is just… awesome. Plus, workout clothes. Workout clothes rule.
6. Trish Walker – Jessica Jones’s best friend is a force to be reckoned with. Like most Marvel women, she had a pretty screwed up childhood, but she came out of it finding success as a radio personality, and successfully made it past being a child star with her sanity intact. She’s also sort of obsessed with physical training in an effort to make sure she never finds herself playing the victim role. Rachael Taylor is gorgeous to begin with, so combining that actress’s natural beauty with the body of someone who trains every day results in one ridiculously hot woman. She does have a bit of a history of making bad decisions, and she really has a hard time not going overboard in order to stop bad guys from doing bad things, but as much as that can lead to trouble, it’s also sort of endearing. She was also all for making Jessica Jones into a bonafide super-hero, so that’s pretty awesome.
5. Karen Page – Karen Page is stupid hot. She’s just beautiful. Pretty face, killer body, everything. But the most attractive thing about her is how much she wants to do the right thing. She’s possibly one of the most unstable people on this list, and she’s got the checkered past to match, but she tries so hard to make the most of things, you can’t help but root for her. She wants to stay positive and make her home a better place. She fails a lot, and makes some very questionable life choices, but she genuinely wants to do what’s right, and that’s got to count for something. Plus, good lord, look at her! She’s freaking gorgeous! She may not be as physically imposing as many of the other women on this list, but she doesn’t need to be. If you are a human who is attracted to women, there’s no way you wouldn’t want to spend time with Karen.
4. Jemma Simmons – Where to even begin here. Obviously there’s the fact that Elizabeth Henstridge is a knockout. Then there’s the fact that Simmons is extraordinarily likable as a character. Then there’s that accent. Remember what I said about Hope Van Dyne’s voice? Simmons beats that any day of the week. Seriously, she’s usually covered in a lab coat, and she says all sorts of occasionally gross sciency stuff, but underneath it all… no, scratch that… BECAUSE of it all she’s easily one of the hottest women in the MCU. She’s not a crazy person, which gives her a leg up on several other folks on this list, and she’s resilient AF. She was willing to go to great lengths to avenge what Ward did to Fitz (if you don’t watch Agents of SHIELD, Fitz is a good guy, and Ward nearly killed him) and the way she handled being marooned on a freaking alien planet was impressive to say the least. She also seems to be very comfortable with her sexuality, and confidence can be very sexy. Simmons skates pretty close to my ideal of the perfect woman. As an aside, if you haven’t seen the episode where they show her surviving the alien planet, go watch that now and tell me Simmons isn’t a remarkably desirable woman. She’s brains, beauty, nerdy, and everything in-between. But…
3. Jane Foster – In the contest of nerdy girls in the MCU, I have to give it to Jane Foster. Maybe it’s just because I think Natalie Portman is one of the hottest women on the planet, but I think it’s mostly because I thought Jane was incredibly likable in both Thor movies. Her and Simmons are really fairly similar characters in many regards, but what really puts Jane ahead in my book is the fact that she’s less perfect. Jane is a bit of a scatterbrain. She’s remarkably intelligent, but her life is a bit on the disorganized side. While Simmons really has her shit together, Jane is kind of a mess, and I find that very endearing. She won the respect of Frigga, she spoke out against Odin to his face (granted, it was before she knew he was Odin), and did I mention she’s played by Natalie Portman? Plus, come on. If she’s good enough for the God of Thunder, she’s more than good enough for me.
2. Natasha Romanoff (aka Black Widow) – This one’s pretty interesting because at the end of the day, I don’t think I like this woman very much. Natasha is one of the good guys, no doubt there. And she’s completely bad ass. But she’s all manner of damaged, she’s got a hell of a history, she’s sneaky, and I can’t shake the feeling that she probably wouldn’t like me very much. Sure, she wound up falling for Bruce Banner in Age of Ultron, but I’m pretty sure that was a very unusual choice of company for her. She’s cold and manipulative, and while her constant attempts to become a better person are admirable, and make for a very cool character, personality-wise, she’s just not my type. So why is she #2 on the list if personality is such a factor? She’s just that god damned good looking. Seriously, this woman is impossibly hot. Literally. Scarlett Johansson is prety damn good-looking in real life, but the way they make Natasha look in these movies defies logic. No one should be that hot. I mean, look at that picture. That’s from the scene in the beginning of The Avengers where she breaks out of the chair and takes out a bunch of jackasses who think they have her in captivity. The way she looks in that dress. The way she moves in that dress. There are no other words for it, she’s unreasonably hot. So in her case and her case alone, the unbelievable physical awesomeness that is Black Widow completely overshadows any issues I might have with her personality.
1. Peggy Carter – And then we have Peggy Carter. When I was challenged with writing this list, this was the only thing I knew straight off the bat. Peggy has to be #1. She is the perfect woman from head to toe. She’s got a body to die for. She’s more beautiful than any person has a right to be. And she’s just one of the best people in all of Marvel. She’s kind, driven, a risk-taker, strong, fragile, brutal, confident, fun, pretty much any adjective I can think of that could even remotely be considered a positive can be applied to Peggy Carter. If you’ve ever seen the unfortunately cancelled Agent Carter TV series, you know what I’m talking about. Hayley Atwell is in a league of her own when it comes to looks, that much is a given. And Peggy Carter is also a fantastic character. This combination results in a woman who is simultaneously so gorgeous it makes you want to run away and hide, and so down-to-earth approachable you just want to go get something to eat and hang out. And can I just mention this woman’s body one more time? Holy crap on a pita, stunning barely begins to cover it. Look at the picture here. She isn’t even doing anything special. Even when doing something as innocuous as reading documents she’s more beautiful than any 10 people I know. Sure, she looks killer in that cool red hat/blue coat combo, and yes there are some great pictures of her shooting guns and being a bad-ass, but I thought this picture said it all. No matter what she’s doing, she’s never not beautiful. Peggy Carter isn’t just the hottest woman in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she might just be the hottest woman in any universe.
Honorable mention: Maria Hill – We don’t get to know Maria Hill that well in the MCU. We know she’s a kick-ass agent and pretty much Nick Fury’s right hand, but aside from a few quips here and there, Hill hasn’t really gotten enough spotlight to make the list. I know her comic book counterpart pretty well, and let’s just say I’m not exactly a huge fan. Still, there’s no denying that she’s a very attractive woman, so she gets the honorable mention.
And there you have it. Am I insane? Probably. But this list was definitely meant to be written in good fun. Like I said, this list is my list, and yours is probably very different from mine. Beauty is subjective (excpect in the case of Peggy carter. Her beauty is scientific fact). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and feel free to tell me know how wrong I am in the comments below.