WILW: Elimination Chamber Predictions

So not photoshopped...
So not photoshopped…

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages… it is time once again for the Elimination Chamber event. An event that I quite like even if it has been a bit up and down over the years. The chamber match is just cool, and this card looks good. Who will win out? Read on to find out.

Mojo Rawley vs Curt Hawkins

A classic battle of, “oh hey, these guys… fight…” Look, Curt Hawkins tries real hard but this gimmick, basically Chuck Norris facts from 10+ years ago, just isn’t working. And Mojo, well, he’s terrible. Hyped, but terrible. I’m relatively sure this match will be watched by few as it is the pre show match and really doesn’t figure in to any current storyline anyone cares about.

Prediction: Mojo Rawley

Apollo Crews & Kalisto vs Dolph Ziggler

So Ziggler is a heel again huh? Look WWE, free advice from a guy on the internet who hasn’t made ANY money off of or from wrestling, Dolph Ziggler will never be a thing as long as his name is Dolph Ziggler. It’s stupid. Really, really stupid. There was a chance, in his program with Ambrose, for him to change his name in kayfabe and it would have worked. He would have hit that next level. Keeping it Ziggler, never going to happen. That said, this should be a good match as Dolph can wrestle and Crews and Kalisto can go as well. If nothing else there will be some fun high spots.

Prediction: Dolph Ziggler

Becky Lynch vs Mickie James

The Smackdown Women’s division is head and shoulders better than RAW currently. Mickie James has looked great since she has been back, and her feud with Becky Lynch is about something other than the belt. (Storytelling!) Both of these ladies are absolute world-class wrestlers and this match has the potential to be one of the best of the night. Expect a well-told story and some downright heelish shit from James to further the story.

Prediction: Mickie James

Everyone else vs American Alpha

The Smackdown Tag division on the other hand is a bit of a mess. American Alpha are great. They are a better version of the Steiner Bros. which is quite something. The rest of the division, outside of the Usos, just hasn’t done enough with enough consistency to really be threatening. Which is a shame considering the talent they have. My guess is that The Revival will be up soon to feud with American Alpha and all of this is merely tilting at windmills.

Prediction: American Alpha

Nikki Bella vs Natalya

The second of three Women’s matches and another one not for a belt.(Storytelling!) Nikki and Natalya have been at this awhile. They have been friends, enemies, frenimies, and all of it stems from their being the carriers of the Divas division for most of it’s life. If rumors are true, both are nearing the end of their careers as well. This should be a damn good match that I’m guessing won’t end clean.

Prediction: Natalya

Luke Harper vs Randy Orton

The Wyatt Family explodes! Randy Orton as part of the Wyatt Family has been fun but is about out of gas. The money match here is Orton vs Bray Wyatt for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania, (Sorry, Cena). The tension that has been building over the last few months inside the family has been great. It is classic, slow burn face turn stuff and man is Harper ready. I’m not quite sure how this will play out, but I’m thinking it will be the best match of the night.

Prediction: Randy Orton

Alexa Bliss (C) vs Naomi

Alexa Bliss is a phenomenal heel champion. She has just the best RBF in wrestling right now, and fantastic in-ring work as well. Naomi has also put in work turning herself into a legit worker as opposed to a former dancer. I am pretty excited for this match and expect it to be a damn fine story. Bliss is so good at drawing heat that you can’t help but audibly root against her. That said, it is still her time.

Prediction: Alexa Bliss

Baron Corbin vs Dean Ambrose vs John Cena (C) vs AJ Styles vs Bray Wyatt vs The Miz: Elimination Chamber

One ring, four pods, raised platforms, six wrestlers, surround by steel cage, sold. I like this match a lot. Two wrestlers start, a “random” pod is opened every five minutes, the winner is the last man standing. Wrestling is all about big moments and the Chamber has them built right in with the opening of the pods. Still not knowing the order of the entrants or who will even be in the match once every pod has opened makes this match engaging like few others. This year’s event also happens to have some of the very best in the business right now, and the best-in-the-world AJ Styles (sorry Punk), all together. I honestly don’t know how this is going to go. A month away from Wrestlemania, the current main even is John Cena vs Randy Orton and in 2017, I just cannot see that happening. It’s old, it’s been done to death. I would love to see Corbin win as I am a huge believer of his but it’s not his time. Ambrose is fine as IC Champ, and if rumors are true, The Miz, along with his wife Maryse, will actually be facing Cena and his girlfriend Nikki Bella at Mania. So that leaves AJ and Bray Wyatt. AJ has just had about the best rookie year anyone ever has in WWE and personally, I want to see him against The Undertaker at Mania. Which would mean Bray Wyatt would be the WWE Champion and head to Wrestlemania to face Randy Orton in the conclusion of an old-school storyline. That possibility is almost too much for this fan to hope. But hope I shall. (thanks Obama)

Prediction: Bray Wyatt

So there it is. My picks for the chamber. Let me know what you think or come and make fun of me for being dead wrong on twitter, @geekadedan, and check back next week as we profile one of my new favorite performers. Until then…

Dan Ryan

Dan Ryan was once the most feared and respected luchador in the world until the "Great DDT Disaster of '85" where Dan unfortunately DDT'd his opponent so hard into the ground that he opened a gate to the underworld that let unholy things into this world. After that, Dan refused to wrestle anymore but he's found new life writing and talking about his favorite hobbies here at Geekade. He pens the weekly Why I Love Wrestling series, co-hosts The Stone Age Gamer Podcast, expertly pairs video games with beer, and much, much more. Dan is a personality that Geekade simply would not be the same without.

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